Cheater Potato Cheese soup

I have the "there's nothing to eat and I'm hungry" syndrome going on here. I want something quick. I want something hot. I want something creamy and smooth. I want potato soup. I want some BAKED potato soup. I do NOT want to have to cook raw potatoes. I do NOT want to fry bacon. Besides, I don't HAVE any bacon to fry. I don't have any sour cream. I do, however, have 2 packets of instant potatoes in the 4 Cheese flavor. I DO have grease saved from cooking bacon (hey, it's a Southern thing!) and I DO have cheese. Humm....I think I have an idea. Oh, nuts.


4 cups of water
1 package Idaho 4 Cheese instant potato buds
3/4 cup plain potato buds
1 Tbs bacon grease
4 oz medium sharp cheddar cheese (four 1/4" thick slices from the end of a brick of cheddar cheese)
1/4 cup feta cheese

Put the water into a microwave safe bowl and heat until it's "boiling" temp.

Add a packet of 4 cheese potatoes. Realize that what you thought was a second packet of potatoes is actually some yellow rice that will take 24 minutes forever to cook. Grab plain potato buds and dump in some - about 3/4 cup's worth, and bacon grease for flavor. Stir well. Let it sit for a few minutes to rehydrate. If it's too much like mashed potatoes and not soup, add some more water to it. If it's too watery, add some more buds.

Break up the cheddar into small pieces. Add it and the feta and stir again.

If the cheese doesn't melt, nuke the whole bowl for a minute or two. It will melt then.

Eat it. All of it. Because you haven't eaten today and it's 7pm. And you're HUNGRY.

"Why didn't you stop and fix something to eat EARLIER????"

"Because there's NOTHING to eat!"

"There are about 40 boxes that held 4 gallons of milk in EACH and they are now FILLED with FOOD! And the boxes are even LABELED with the category the food is in. What do you MEAN "there's nothing to eat?!?!"

"Ok, Ok. There's food to eat but I don't feel like cooking!"

"Since WHEN does flavored yogurt from the STORE have to be COOKED???? Since WHEN does milk and cereal have to be COOKED?? And green beans? It takes 30 seconds to walk to one of  at least SIX boxes marked "Veggies" and grab a can of veggies. 30 seconds to open the can and drain them and 3 minutes to heat them. You call THAT Cooking?? And it takes 2 minutes to grab a can of green beans, corn, tomatoes and a jar of the potatoes, one of the carrots and one of the chicken that you canned, pop the tops and toss the contents into a bowl, juices and all. Another 5 minutes or so to season it and nuke it. Garlic and onion powder, Adobo, a large pinch each of thyme, marjoram, basil and oregano. Gee, 7 WHOLE minutes 'cooking'. I'm sure it would have KILLED you to have SLAVED over that meal. AND you'd have had leftovers for tomorrow AND Sunday! Oh, and it would have taken you about 5 minutes to get the bread dough out of the fridge, shape it into two boules and let them sit for 90 minutes and then baked them for an hour. You would have had 2 or 3 days' worth of bread. You have pie crusts in the fridge. You could have eaten soup for 2 meals and then thickened the leftovers and made pot pie out of them and had another 4 meals from that! Another 5 whole minutes of 'cooking'."

Sigh. I hate it when I get all logical with me.