Monday, December 3, 2007

"Mr Fenton" and Walmart - a joke

Ok, I love clean jokes and I love to laugh. We laughed over this one until we were in tears. Or perhaps things have just been so tense over trying to get the car back up here and insurance taken care of. (No, this old car was not insured for collision. We have a $500 deductible and the trade-in value is only $478. So there was no reason to insure it for that. They would have just declared it totaled and not paid anything.)
Anyway, I thought you guys might enjoy reading it.

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. Don't take us, we don't want to go!!!!

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted that her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, like most women, Mrs. Fenton loved to browse. One day, Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from this store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 14: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 02: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares-get on it right away".

Aug. 4: Went to the Service desk and tried to put a bag of M & M's on layaway.

Sept. 14: Moved a "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

Sept. 15: Set up a tent in the Sports Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding Department.

Sept. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

Oct. 04: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

Nov. 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk what aisle the anti-depressants were in.

Dec. 03: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme to "Mission Impossible".

Dec. 06: In the Auto Department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

Dec. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled "PICK ME, PICK ME!!"

Dec. 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH, NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least, on

Dec. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"



1 comment:

Lib said...

Glad to see your're back.
Cute joke.LOL LOL
I kept checking in with you ,hope you were just busy and nothing wrong.
Hope you have a great wk.
Blessins', Lib